Incompl te
of 26 votes, 31% like it
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...socially awkward since birth
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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Flea Market Patron ( & proud of it )
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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Everything I need can be found at a Flea-Market
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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If I were you... I'd still want to be me
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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If you were me... you'd be totally awesome!
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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Frankly no, that's not what's for dinner...
of 13 votes, 0% like it
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The Mothership is not my mom
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Screw Twitter, I'm on the CB Radio
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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secrets are the catalysts of evil
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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I hope your mom doesn't hear us later
of 12 votes, 33% like it
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I hope we don't wake up your roommate...
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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I'm not alone...my digital friends are here by proxy.
of 12 votes, 0% like it
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All my friends are online
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Don't sell yourself short, Mr. Shorty McShort Shorts
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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Don't sell yourself shorts
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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I'm crazy enough to fill a canteen
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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You do "crazy" like a champ!
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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That twas quite thee spiciest of meatballs
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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Spicy Meatballs are Hot
of 19 votes, 0% like it
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meat-o'-clock means it's pork time
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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The mighty pirate unleashed a torrent... and I downloaded.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee... I'm just two tense.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Keep looking all you want, but you're not touching!
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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parachutes are handy only when you need them
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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defibrillators tickle
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Sadly, I never got the memo...
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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Yoko O Noooooooo
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Live long & procrastinate
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Live long & procreate often
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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I'm HUGE in Smallville, Tinytown and China
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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I'm not happy to see you, that's just my colostomy bag.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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If I'm shot through the heart, I'll blame you.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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My ex-boyfriend's "Gentleman's Luggage" was a carry-on
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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Security ALWAYS checks my gentleman's luggage
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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My gentleman's luggage is packed
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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A chupacabra ate my dingo
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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I'll drink to that... and that and that and that and that!
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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dirty pillows make good pillows
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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Jumbo Shrimp is an Oxymoron
of 20 votes, 50% like it
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Judges throw the book at you. Librarians throw the whole library.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Librarians are well stocked.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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Mitten-makers love centipedes
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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I'm not pinching your head I'm trying to gesture resize your face
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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our spatial relationship is slowly moving apart
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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I'm indiescribable
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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our spatial relationship is getting closer
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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the mummy broke her hipster
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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Wolfman & nards, two things I enjoy!
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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Frankenstein was emo
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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taking bets...
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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"jumping-the-shark" is so jumping-the-shark
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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i {heart} motorboating
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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motorboating in 3...2...1
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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Nice assets!
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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my lunchbox is older than you
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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you had me at, "huh?"
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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gorillas and sharks don't make great pets
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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...to the MAX!
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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Boy Loves Man = Dad / Man Loves Boy = Jail
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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I'd buy that for $0.99
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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NAMBLA's Poster Child
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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My best friends live at the zoo.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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fargin' icehole
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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i like stars, if that's any constellation
of 19 votes, 53% like it
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down to your level
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Is this me... or robot me?
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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Ask not what I can do for you, but what you can do for me.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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I like pirate movies. Especially ones rated aRRRRRRRRR!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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60% of the time, I'm awesome all time.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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I clean up before my maid
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Scratch-n-Sniffer
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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I scratch & sniff
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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I hunt for food, not fun.
Ok, ok... it's really really fun!
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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I hunt flying squirrels
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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Ruining other people's lives since the early-90's
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Are you sure? You don't know where I've been...
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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I've been known to double-dip
of 20 votes, 40% like it
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Mentally, I'm not here right now...
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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wanna buy me a drink? or twenty?
of 17 votes, 0% like it
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let's meet in-game
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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steadily emitting noxious exhalations
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Traveling the speed of light warped me
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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I did get it from my mama
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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I DO give a flying flip
of 17 votes, 0% like it
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Holy shish kabobs Batman!
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Great balls of matzo!
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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Built in 1979
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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I'm one of Oprah's "favorite things"!
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Depression hits losers the hardest.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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Breakfast of Second Place Winners
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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i lounge, like a chair
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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i {heart} the Goblin King
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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Who do that voodoo like you do?
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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Dance, Magic... Dance
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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It's 1986 David Bowie from the movie, Labyrinth
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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"Thriller" ain't got nothing on you
of 11 votes, 0% like it
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Dinosaurs were big. Very, very big.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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a dingo didn't eat my baby
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm...so...scared
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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I caught a tiger by the toe, but he holla'd - so I let him go.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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I'm the next internet sensation. Oh wait nevermind, not anymore.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Races are from a dig. Rolls are for dinner.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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"Flight Of The Navigator" still is rad!
of 11 votes, 0% like it
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Influenced by Tron
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Be forewarned... I'm known to shart.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
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pigmentally challenged and darn well proud of it
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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My pale, vampire-like skin can't take much more of this...
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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I like robots, ALF and small defenseless animals
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Hello my future boyfriend
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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I eat meat, so I can have pudding
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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medium-rare by choice, not obligation
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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don't judge me, we're both pink on the inside
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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i toot my own horn
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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My mullet is longer than yours
of 15 votes, 0% like it
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I'm a musician... first-chair on the skin-flute
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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Scary like a badger since 1980
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Giving away free boogers since 1979
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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I likes music a lots
of 14 votes, 0% like it
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When I'm in prison, can I call you?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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Fried chicken is soooooooo good!
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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Yes, I am the physical manifestation of your imagination.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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I collect clowns, pachinko machines and small children.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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My band will be here soon... I promise.
of 15 votes, 40% like it
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My band will be here shortly, wanna makeout in the meantime?
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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All of this shirt is belongs to me.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Proud product of backseat carelessness. Thanks dad.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Proud product of box'd wine and Al Green.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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You say jigga, I say watt:1.21 to be exact.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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Hey ya'll... I just ate some butter!
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Nosehair trimmers dont get the use, nor the respect they deserve.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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This is part 0.001 of my plan to control the universe
of 14 votes, 43% like it
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Flo. Flo like the wind, Rida.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Be gently with me... I bruise easily.
of 11 votes, 36% like it
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Hi, you are on my bucket-list.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Why is everything Dutch, double?
of 8 votes, 0% like it
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One, Two... Freddy's coming for you.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
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Constipation is a race that your bowels aren't winning.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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Urination is the best Nation
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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Hi, I already know you... I've been stalking you online.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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If you are reading this, then you didn't get my text message.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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I don't drink & drive... because I might spill my drink.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
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I come from the tribe of Slapaho
of 11 votes, 0% like it
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Our fathers weren't particularly fond of flags, were they?
of 8 votes, 0% like it
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BandAids support music
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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I've got the magnets, but where are the chicks?
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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I am "that girl" wearing "this shirt". Will y
of 10 votes, 0% like it
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Yes, I am "that guy"
of 9 votes, 0% like it
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Chick-Magnets do get dropped off at the mall by their mom. Shush.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
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Consider this your invitation to the party in my pants.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Giant lizards and shoes run in my family.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Wash your hands please... one of us may become viral.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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This shirt makes me viral
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Do you think anyone has noticed me yet? I hope so, I'm faux-shy..
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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Somewhere... right now, this T-Shirt is on SALE
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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This is all McGuyver would of needed...
of 14 votes, 36% like it
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it's the pleats, i swear
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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salt will make you savory
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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i'm rockin' out on the inside.
of 14 votes, 43% like it
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This isn't a beer belly, it's an engine to a sex machine.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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i pee on fires
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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If my hands are in my pockets, I'm probably tweeting about you.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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I want to [ Ctrl + Alt + Delete ] you!
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Carnies are people too... strange, smelly, freaky people.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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We'd make beautiful music together... too bad I'm deaf.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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I Excel at Accessing your PowerPoint in my Office. Word.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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Rock, Paper, Ghat... I win again!
of 22 votes, 5% like it
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Food. Sex. Sleep. COMPLETE.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I knows your passwords
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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A whale-of-a-good-time is a pretty good time
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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I'll bill you for my time later...
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Voted: Most Likely To Kick Your Ass
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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Give that rat a haircut!
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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I lost my dog, can you help me? Here Skeet Skeet Skeet.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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UR my fav websites
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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...like a boss
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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I never go to sleep the same day I wake up.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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If you are reading this... I'm just as surprised as you I'm awake
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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