Nothing Bugs Me More Than A Dwarf Planet Posing As A Real Planet.
of 34 votes, 44% like it
|
Pluto First. We'll Get Rid Of The Other Planets Soon Enough.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
|
Cavemen Really Knew How To Go Clubbing.
of 22 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Obligatory Political Endorsement Here.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
Fun Is That Thing Your Parents Don't Let You Have.
of 33 votes, 36% like it
|
I Heard Liberace Collected T-Shirts.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Board Games Are Only Fun When You're Bored.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
Why Is Something Described As Fishy When It's Not A Fish?
of 20 votes, 45% like it
|
Seismologists are hooked on crack.
of 23 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Reality...I Like Mine With More Fantasy.
of 37 votes, 54% like it
|
Mainstream? I Prefer The Stream Less Traveled.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
|
I Mistook A Cricket For My Conscience. It Took Me To A Dark Place
of 35 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I'd Tower Over You, If I Was Only Taller.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
|
No, I'm Only Human, But I Can See Where One Would Be Confused.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
|
Brought To You Today By The Letters F And T And By The Number 12.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
|
|
This Is The Future. How Do You Know I'm Not A Computer?
of 34 votes, 38% like it
|
Fun Is Something Your Parents Don't Have.
of 34 votes, 53% like it
|
Guess That Means I Need New Underpants.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
|
For Pete's sake! I have no idea who Pete is.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
|
My Shadow Puppets Can Shadow Box.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
Spelling "Bee" Doesn't Sound That Hard.
of 39 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I Just Memed In My Pants.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
|
At Least It's Not 3KCM.
of 38 votes, 39% like it
|
I'd Tower Over You, If I Was Only Taller...Or If You Were Shorter
of 34 votes, 32% like it
|
|
So, we meet again. At least this time I have a shirt on.
of 30 votes, 60% like it
|
Regulation Is Just Another Word For Rule...No Thanks.
of 47 votes, 32% like it
|
I've Got Two Left Feet And I'm All Hands. Who Wants To Dance?
of 33 votes, 52% like it
|
|
I'm Going To Pretend Like This Is Make Believe.
of 36 votes, 47% like it
|
I Can Shake A Stick At More Stuff Than You Can Shake A Stick At.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
|
Life Is Like A Final Exam You Didn't Study For.
of 41 votes, 73% like it
|
|
Leaning Is Subjective To Your Perspective.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
|
Like A Giant, Only Regular Size.
of 35 votes, 60% like it
|
Vegetarian Vampires Use Their Fangs To Juice Blood Oranges.
of 38 votes, 50% like it
|
|
My Love For New York Is Subjective.
of 38 votes, 45% like it
|
If Life Isn't A Game, Then Why Did I See It On Sale At The Store?
of 42 votes, 60% like it
|
Directions Are For Girls...And Guys That Don't Know The Way.
of 44 votes, 36% like it
|
|
I'm Not Ignoring You...I Just Thought It Was Rhetorical.
of 55 votes, 58% like it
|
I Don't Believe In The Platypus.
of 50 votes, 40% like it
|
What Did Pluto Ever Do To Us?
of 55 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Sasquatch May Have Big Feet, But His Carbon One Is Minuscule.
of 49 votes, 45% like it
|
When We Reach The End, Could Someone Remember To Press Rewind?
of 54 votes, 72% like it
|
Glasses Only Make You Smarter If You Couldn't See The Chalkboard.
of 43 votes, 58% like it
|
|
The Petrified Forest Has Nothing To Be Scared Of.
of 44 votes, 61% like it
|
Situations Can Be Avoided By Not Doing Anything.
of 56 votes, 84% like it
|
We Will Get Along Fine If You Remember Just One Thing: I Win.
of 50 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Hindsight: I Don't Look Forward To It.
of 46 votes, 76% like it
|
I Am Looking Forward To...Whatever Is Over There In Front Of Me.
of 45 votes, 62% like it
|
Do I Smell Coffee?
of 44 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Don't Hound Me...Especially If You're Not A Dog.
of 40 votes, 53% like it
|
Remember That Flashback You Just Had?
of 45 votes, 62% like it
|
I'd Kill For Some Peace.
of 59 votes, 59% like it
|
|
If At First You Don't Succeed, Use Cheat Codes.
of 44 votes, 64% like it
|
If The World Is A Playground, Then Why Am I Stuck In The Sandbox?
of 49 votes, 69% like it
|
Why do people have to Google Earth. You can look at it normally.
of 39 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Hypothetically Speaking, This Statement Could Be False.
of 52 votes, 77% like it
|
The Ironic Thing Is...I Don't Know How To Read.
of 43 votes, 56% like it
|
Hard-Boiled Eggs Really Get Themselves Into Hot Water.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
|
|
I'm So Tired Of Not Getting Enough Sleep.
of 60 votes, 62% like it
|
I'd Prefer NOT To Act My Age, But Thanks For Caring.
of 64 votes, 58% like it
|
I (HEART) Pictorial Depictions Of Words.
of 58 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Mornings Are Why Coffee Was Invented.
of 47 votes, 64% like it
|
Alliterative Analogies Are As Accurate As Asinine Assumptions.
of 46 votes, 65% like it
|
If Life Gives You Kumquats, It's Getting The Analogy Wrong.
of 59 votes, 75% like it
|
|
I Tease House Pets.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
|
A Hungry Hippo Would Want Something More Substantial Than Marbles
of 66 votes, 83% like it
|
*Made From Recycled Paper* (I Hope It Doesn't Rain)
of 58 votes, 60% like it
|
|
(on back) Just Trying To Stay Ahead Of The Weather.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
|
I Have A One Track Mind, But My Train Of Thought Is Derailed.
of 53 votes, 72% like it
|
This Decade, I'm Going To Stop Counting By Tens.
of 43 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Guess Who's Being Inquisitive.
of 51 votes, 67% like it
|
Right Turns Make Left Ones Feel Wrong.
of 52 votes, 69% like it
|
Some Genius Can't Be Expressed With Words. (I Can't Read Anyways)
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Heat-Vision Makes It Hard To Shop In The Frozen Food Section.
of 50 votes, 58% like it
|
It might be a stretch, but are you a contortionist?
of 46 votes, 67% like it
|
Bling Is Obviously Just An Excuse To Cross-Dress.
of 48 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I Invariably Always Repeat Myself.
of 57 votes, 49% like it
|
This Is My Best Striped Shirt. (BELT PRINTED FOR STRIPYNESS)
of 52 votes, 37% like it
|
I'd Try Harder, But I Just Don't Care.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Tomorrow Would Be Better If It Was Today.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
|
I Resolved Long Ago That I Wouldn't Make Any Resolutions.
of 55 votes, 71% like it
|
Pineapple tastes nothing like it's compound name implies.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Maybe It's Just Cloudy Because God Thinks You Need A Shower.
of 52 votes, 63% like it
|
Up With Bathophobia, Down With Acrophobia.
of 42 votes, 50% like it
|
Later Is A Lie That Your Parents Made Up To Keep You Quiet.
of 60 votes, 75% like it
|
|
Lions Need To Know That Pride Is A Hell-Worthy Sin.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
|
My favorite meal is the one that's coming next.
of 49 votes, 55% like it
|
Later Will Be Now Eventually.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Despite Popular Belief, Saying 'Trust Me' Does Not Gain My Trust.
of 51 votes, 63% like it
|
Don't Let Your Yesterday Ruin My Today.
of 58 votes, 60% like it
|
Real Gamers Do It Sitting Down.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
|
|
It's not talking to yourself if you pretend socks are puppets.
of 47 votes, 62% like it
|
I'd Be More Cynical, But I Just Don't Care.
of 66 votes, 52% like it
|
Last Time I Checked It Was Still Today.
of 52 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Be that as it may, um, I just like to say Be that as it may.
of 44 votes, 43% like it
|
Hey You. Quit Making General Statements.
of 53 votes, 51% like it
|
Ice is just waters evil cousin.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Mind Your P's And Q's...And The Other Letters While You're At It.
of 52 votes, 56% like it
|
Give Me Credit...I'll Take Interest And Appreciate It.
of 64 votes, 61% like it
|
So, What's The Big Deal About Peace?
of 43 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Forever Is Longer Than That.
of 47 votes, 68% like it
|
I'd Ask For World Peace, But No One Would Appreciate It.
of 48 votes, 63% like it
|
At Least There's Minimalism.
of 63 votes, 83% like it
|
|
Maybe I should be more decisive?
of 54 votes, 70% like it
|
For My Next Stunt, I Will Attempt To STAY ALIVE!
of 56 votes, 63% like it
|
Either Green With Envy, Inexperience, Or It's St. Patrick's Day.
of 62 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Red Rover, Red Rover, Send A Better Game On Over.
of 50 votes, 68% like it
|
The Grass Just Seems Greener On The Other Side Because It's Fake.
of 57 votes, 74% like it
|
I'd say Yankee Doodle was a bit confused when it came to Macaroni
of 57 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I Don't Know How Much Better Butter Will Improve My Bitter Batter
of 51 votes, 47% like it
|
My Insignificance Is Beyond Me.
of 56 votes, 54% like it
|
Not Naughty, Not Nice...Just Eligible For Gifts.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Is there a list for people who were neither naughty or nice?
of 51 votes, 69% like it
|
Birds of pray sound to RELIGIOUS!
of 53 votes, 42% like it
|
Live Life, Even If It Kills You.
of 62 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Rumors aren't true unless they are.
of 55 votes, 65% like it
|
I Trust My Criticisms Are Taken The Right Way.
of 58 votes, 52% like it
|
Someone else has already done it.
of 56 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Thanksgiving is a bad day to be a Turkey.
of 47 votes, 57% like it
|
I Would Hate To Be A Vegetarian On Thanksgiving.
of 56 votes, 43% like it
|
Plan first...Decipher later.
of 56 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Of all the shirts, can you believe THIS is the one I picked?!
of 44 votes, 57% like it
|
It's good Karma to follow The Golden Rule.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
|
I (BLANK) (BLANK) Mad Libs.
of 63 votes, 70% like it
|
|
With A Name Like Dodo, I Think I'd Want To Be Extinct Too.
of 67 votes, 60% like it
|
Move out of the way. I'm about to do something CRAZY!
of 57 votes, 49% like it
|
Santa Likes Me More Than You.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
|
|
FACT: Something I Agree With You About
Opinion: Everything Else
of 59 votes, 64% like it
|
Conversation is pointless when you have a shirt like THIS!
of 60 votes, 55% like it
|
100% Organic. Yes, nothing but organs in me!
of 57 votes, 65% like it
|
|
My Fingers Agree With You But My Thumbs Are Opposed.
of 76 votes, 62% like it
|
The day after tomorrow I'll still be looking ahead.
of 64 votes, 53% like it
|
Do your best...or at least make it look like you are.
of 64 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Ducks Fear Me...And My Neon Orange Gun.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
|
Man isn't meant to dream about dreaming.
of 57 votes, 42% like it
|
Being Down To Earth Seems Like A Drag.
of 54 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Yesterday Was Today Once. I Know, I Was There.
of 53 votes, 79% like it
|
(near the bottom of shirt) Low Is Subjective.
of 47 votes, 60% like it
|
I've Never Found A Cookie I Didn't Like.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
|
|
There wouldn't exist without here.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
|
Sea Horses Don't Live Up To Their Name.
of 59 votes, 53% like it
|
Club Sandwiches Sound Too Exclusive.
of 59 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Tops Make The World Go Round.
of 50 votes, 56% like it
|
Anyone calls me Pumpkin and they'll get SQUASHED!
of 55 votes, 45% like it
|
Close To The Edge Is Not Over The Line.
of 61 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Will Wear Ridiculous Costume For Candy
of 70 votes, 79% like it
|
Schizophrenia would be an opportunity to make some new friends.
of 70 votes, 74% like it
|
Any Holiday that involves FREE CANDY is a good one, in my book!
of 60 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Idiots Say The Darnedest Things.
of 63 votes, 56% like it
|
Keeping Skeletons In Closets Is Just Asking For A Haunting.
of 54 votes, 65% like it
|
Does anyone remember how I got here?
of 58 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Love is an enigma wrapped in mystery...OK OK, it doesn't exist!
of 53 votes, 51% like it
|
Life: Live It Until You Die From It.
of 53 votes, 53% like it
|
I wonder what force keeps old people orbiting inside the Mall?
of 55 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Generally, I try to be more specific.
of 68 votes, 78% like it
|
Only You Can Help Prevent The Zombie Uprising. Cremate The Dead.
of 53 votes, 64% like it
|
Recipes for disaster are kept in the Anarchist Cookbook.
of 59 votes, 68% like it
|
|
This chance encounter lacks sustainability.
of 51 votes, 73% like it
|
It's Funny How Everyone's So Serious.
of 51 votes, 53% like it
|
Pumpkin Pie Tastes Better If You've Made It From Jack-O-Lanterns.
of 53 votes, 68% like it
|
|
I Am (Virtually) More Popular Than You.
of 53 votes, 64% like it
|
Thanksgiving would be better with FIREWORKS!
of 53 votes, 45% like it
|
I hear Hindsight is 20/20. Sometimes I think mine needs glasses.
of 58 votes, 74% like it
|
|
Stealing will get you everything but nobody has everything.
of 44 votes, 55% like it
|
I wanted to see the truth, but I had my Skepticals on.
of 52 votes, 67% like it
|
I may look like a Pauper, but I feel like a Prince.
of 44 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I'd reboot my computer, but I should have quit with the 1st boot.
of 48 votes, 48% like it
|
I'm pretty sure Corn Syrup is classified as a Vegetable...RIGHT?
of 51 votes, 53% like it
|
This is all part of my triumphant comeback.
of 69 votes, 65% like it
|
|
You Say Fate, I Say Serendipity.Let's Call The Whole Thing CHANCE
of 49 votes, 59% like it
|
In Spite Of Everything, I Don't Hate Anything.
of 49 votes, 57% like it
|
My Boss Is A Real Piece Of Work.
of 50 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Vegetarians are scared of the dark (Meat).
of 56 votes, 52% like it
|
When It Comes To Baking, I Take The Cake.
of 58 votes, 69% like it
|
In Spite Of Everything, I Don't Hold Grudges Against Anything.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Science Fiction Is Still Science
of 56 votes, 77% like it
|
Surviving nuclear submarine attacks, suburban homeowners thrive.
of 45 votes, 53% like it
|
I'm not conceited, but I am right most of the time.
of 58 votes, 64% like it
|
|
No Solicitation Without Decapitation
of 50 votes, 42% like it
|
My other Motorcycle is less motorized...OK, it's a BIKE!
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
Fight The Power: Turn It Off
of 67 votes, 79% like it
|
|
I hear a lot about change, but I can't make heads or tails of it.
of 62 votes, 55% like it
|
They should make Boxing include more boxes.
of 56 votes, 59% like it
|
Would it really be a bad thing if Mosquitoes were extinct?
of 50 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I am the one, the ONLY...ME!
of 50 votes, 46% like it
|
My grandpa has a hard time respecting his elders.
of 59 votes, 53% like it
|
I have half a mind to donate my Brain to science.
of 67 votes, 72% like it
|
|
No Guts, No Glory. But also, no Internal Organs.
of 65 votes, 66% like it
|
If I lived in a Garbage Can, I'd be a Grouch too!
of 68 votes, 54% like it
|
Not the tarpest shool in the head.
of 55 votes, 64% like it
|
|
You don't need to know the lyrics to sing along...but it helps.
of 63 votes, 68% like it
|
Who said I can't Multitask? (what was I doing before this?)
of 64 votes, 61% like it
|
The Sandbox Makes Me Feel Like Dirt.
of 59 votes, 61% like it
|
|
The Frog Prince wants to be in the Relay, but he lacks the lungs.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
I like cartoons when they are DRAWN OUT!
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
What's so SIGNIFICANT about your OTHER?
of 53 votes, 70% like it
|
|
I'm usually a good Belly-Dancer after I eat SPICY FOOD!
of 47 votes, 47% like it
|
Eleventy billion times threve doesn't make CENTS!
of 55 votes, 38% like it
|
If I had a Taser, it would have been confiscated by now.
of 52 votes, 60% like it
|
|
This isn't a Flashback. My shirt's always hazy around the edges.
of 59 votes, 59% like it
|
My suitcase has never contained a SUIT.
of 59 votes, 44% like it
|
Do you have scars to match the holes or did you buy 'em that way?
of 51 votes, 61% like it
|
|
I was an Elephant for Halloween, but I forgot what it was like.
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
Currently working on my Autobiography...
of 55 votes, 58% like it
|
I'm pretty sure he didn't invent the Internet.
of 55 votes, 45% like it
|
|
The last Psychic I saw was one Tarot Card shy of a full deck.
of 57 votes, 53% like it
|
I remember when this shirt was in style. (PRINTED IN NEON)
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
Time-Zones? They're just another Government Conspiracy.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Just wondering why anyone would be GREEN with envy?
of 52 votes, 42% like it
|
The (Barometric) Pressure Is Getting To Me.
of 59 votes, 47% like it
|
If it was 1987, this would be Neon and Acid-Washed.
of 68 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I remember when things were cool.
of 60 votes, 65% like it
|
I made it to an Oasis, only to find it was a Mirage.
of 65 votes, 42% like it
|
My Dentist Knows The Drill.
of 72 votes, 67% like it
|
|
The Electric Company used to be educational, now it's just a bill
of 51 votes, 57% like it
|
Silent Alarms don't SOUND like a good idea to me!
of 57 votes, 56% like it
|
Onions always make me cry at weddings.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I need more Calcium in my diet like I need softer bones.
of 58 votes, 48% like it
|
I am the Bridge Jumping Friend that your Parents warned you about
of 71 votes, 82% like it
|
Life was simpler when video game controllers had just A or B.
of 74 votes, 76% like it
|
|
This might be an attempt at fishing for a compliment.
of 60 votes, 73% like it
|
Centaur: Part Human, Part Horse...ALL AWESOME!
of 56 votes, 59% like it
|
I look back on school with fond memories...of RECESS!
of 63 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Windy cities recycle energy swiftly.
of 48 votes, 60% like it
|
I remember when Nostalgia was just a thing of the past.
of 67 votes, 63% like it
|
Could a Schizophrenic be considered a One-Man Gang?
of 51 votes, 67% like it
|
|
I usually build my cities in a day, but, when in Rome.
of 68 votes, 63% like it
|
My Carbon Footprint SQUASHED Your Carbon Footprint!
of 53 votes, 57% like it
|
Forget about a knife at a gunfight. Why were you at a GUNFIGHT?
of 69 votes, 72% like it
|
|
If I have to step on poodles, I prefer a coat to be lain on top.
of 55 votes, 62% like it
|
Trying To Be Cooler In A More Obvious Way.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
Forget the consequences, just GO FOR IT!(I'll say your Good-Byes)
of 57 votes, 35% like it
|
|
For some reason, I always get bored in the Doldrums.
of 65 votes, 34% like it
|
I mimic ostriches when it comes to confrontation.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
|
Try to be a 'One In A Million' instead of a 'One In Ten'.
of 64 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Life Is Chaos, By Design.
of 70 votes, 63% like it
|
More EXTRA Than ORDINARY
of 64 votes, 70% like it
|
It turns out, being 'The Bomb' is better than it sounds.
of 79 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Th s is wh t h pp ns wh n you sh rt ch nge the SilkScreener
of 63 votes, 51% like it
|
I hope my shirt makes yours better by comparison.
of 60 votes, 65% like it
|
Sometimes, I wish life had a TILT function.
of 60 votes, 50% like it
|
|
People think I'm possessed. Turns out, it's just Tourette's.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
|
Ancient Times is old news.
of 57 votes, 44% like it
|
Nuke Chernobyl, just to be sure.
of 59 votes, 46% like it
|
|
I make bad jokes GOOD.
of 57 votes, 40% like it
|
I forgot why we drink out of Aluminum.
of 54 votes, 43% like it
|
I only listen to Rock music. Does that make me a Geologist?
of 67 votes, 58% like it
|
|
This shirt can and will be held against you in the Court Of Hugs.
of 70 votes, 46% like it
|
Hula-Hooping Isn't A Crime
of 51 votes, 45% like it
|
I should look into this 'Career' thing I keep hearing about.
of 66 votes, 65% like it
|
|
(Am I the only one who uses Air Parentheses)
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
Everything was Right, until I turned Left.
of 75 votes, 59% like it
|
I just think the girl Peacock could try a little harder.
of 60 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Co-Conspirator
of 56 votes, 54% like it
|
Flotsam and Jetsam are just two fancy words for littering.
of 72 votes, 49% like it
|
Oompa-Loompas always taste better dipped in Chocolate.
of 67 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Mankind: Not all man. Not all kind.
of 79 votes, 71% like it
|
I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of my Secret Society
of 73 votes, 63% like it
|
Wats sew grate abowt sckool enywez?
of 55 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Sorry...I didn't catch the SARCASM!
of 93 votes, 70% like it
|
So, what does it take to win the Human Race?
of 77 votes, 74% like it
|
Life is like a Rental Car: Expect a Compact, hope for a Luxury.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Do you smell something cooking? Oh wait, that's just ME!
of 51 votes, 63% like it
|
I Follow
(next line)
The Rule
(next line)
Of Thirds
of 58 votes, 69% like it
|
Try To See The Trees For The Forest For A Change.
of 57 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I surf Radio Waves.
of 66 votes, 65% like it
|
Regrettably , you don't HAVE to be skinny to dip in most water.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
I Have Argued With Myself And Lost.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
|
I never seem to have the right answer to rhetorical questions.
of 66 votes, 67% like it
|
Earth Native
of 61 votes, 49% like it
|
My Magic Marker could use a little more MAGIC.
of 72 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Silent Film Dialogue Writer
of 66 votes, 61% like it
|
I Hate To Burst Your Bubble, But I Do Have This Pointy Thing.
of 79 votes, 56% like it
|
You'd think twice about debating with me if you saw all my books.
of 76 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Everything I need to know, I learned in Kindergarten..and College
of 70 votes, 57% like it
|
COMPUTERS: Smarter Than The Average Human
of 62 votes, 53% like it
|
You didn't notice IT was gone, but I'm bringing IT back.
of 58 votes, 48% like it
|
|
Actually, The Least I Could Do Is NOTHING.
of 68 votes, 62% like it
|
I'll just assume that was rhetorical...
of 51 votes, 57% like it
|
Get me my pipe and magnifying glass. Sleuthing is imminent.
of 56 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Living For The CONSTANT Instead Of The MOMENT.
of 52 votes, 48% like it
|
Fool In Paradise
of 52 votes, 44% like it
|
When I say "WE", I'm referring to me...and my TAPEWORM!
of 75 votes, 40% like it
|
|
I'm So Stoked At How COOL We Are!
of 53 votes, 43% like it
|
I Go Places...In Fact, I'm On My Way Right Now.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
|
I Am So Different, In A Different Way Than You.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
|
|
I'd Rather Knot.
of 52 votes, 48% like it
|
My mom taught me to control my bodily functions...PULL MY FINGER
of 56 votes, 52% like it
|
I'm building a Space Shuttle in my backyard...TRUST ME.
of 60 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Snap dragon: One of the most misleading flower titles.
of 65 votes, 45% like it
|
Thought about correct grammar, but didn't find any capital in it.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
Borrowed Time Will Be Paid Back With Interest.
of 54 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Acme 101: Tuning Fork, Vanishing Cream and a Dog Whistle= Success
of 54 votes, 48% like it
|
Apparently, I woke up on the wrong side of the World today!
of 55 votes, 49% like it
|
Call me Old-Fashioned, but I prefer my particles SUBATOMIC.
of 58 votes, 50% like it
|
|
I hope Genetic Engineering catches up to my Unicorn aspirations!
of 65 votes, 69% like it
|
Not Left-Wing. Not Right-Wing. Here's My Middle-Finger.
of 60 votes, 52% like it
|
Pretty Soon It'll Be Later.
of 76 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Trying to take back what time has stolen.
of 61 votes, 43% like it
|
A Watched Pot Boils At Exactly 212 Degrees Fahrenheit.
of 64 votes, 47% like it
|
You looked further away in your photograph.
of 75 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Forever: It's Sooner Than You May Think.
of 73 votes, 53% like it
|
A "Hello" from you might cure this awkward silence.
of 71 votes, 59% like it
|
I would think it's easier to vanish into THICK AIR.
of 81 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Just wondering why everyone is so Anti-Arctica.
of 75 votes, 43% like it
|
I don't look for signs. I guess that's how I got that ticket.
of 74 votes, 66% like it
|
Making Money, But Not Made Of It.
of 64 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Sticks and Stones broke my bones. Go ahead, add insult to injury!
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
I'm losing sleep. Do you know the Cheat Code?
of 71 votes, 62% like it
|
All this talk about Celibacy is making me HOT!
of 70 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Saving The Universe...One Planet At A Time.
of 72 votes, 74% like it
|
Did you see that Octagon over there? Yeah, I think it's a sign.
of 77 votes, 71% like it
|
Let's take some pictures and see what develops.
of 66 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Surface tension allows optimists to fill the glass PAST THE RIM!
of 64 votes, 63% like it
|
Being stranded on a Dessert Island actually sounds pretty good!
of 66 votes, 50% like it
|
I cloned myself. I don't even know if I'm me anymore.
of 62 votes, 63% like it
|
|
I live a dual life. One in this shirt...then everything else.
of 53 votes, 43% like it
|
I survived "The End"...of whatever just happened.
of 58 votes, 34% like it
|
(UV)It's sunny! (REGULAR)Good times. (GLOW)It's really dark!
of 60 votes, 53% like it
|
|
The 11th Hour Is Nigh...Just Look At Your Watch.
of 58 votes, 40% like it
|
Don't cry for me, Spilt-Milk!
of 64 votes, 42% like it
|
The end of time is NOW...This will be relevant some day.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
|
If a joke is told and no one hears it, is it still funny?
of 71 votes, 44% like it
|
I saw The Bermuda Triangle and all I got was a parallel universe.
of 82 votes, 71% like it
|
Turn the lights out...
(GLOW) THAT'S BETTER!
of 69 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Ladders Keep My Head In The Clouds.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
|
Playing In The Sandbox Makes Me Feel Like Dirt.
of 77 votes, 58% like it
|
Spread The Love Like An Infectious Disease.
of 67 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Remember the old saying: Two Rhombi Don't Make A Dodecahedron
of 73 votes, 55% like it
|
I should have gone to bed long ago...but I couldn't find it.
of 67 votes, 39% like it
|
I need another analogy like I need a hole in my head.
of 78 votes, 63% like it
|
|
I See Your Pastry And Raise You A Doughnut.
of 72 votes, 64% like it
|
Apparently, rhyming about diseases makes them kid friendly.
of 76 votes, 55% like it
|
My head feels like it's swimming, but I only Doggie-Paddle.
of 67 votes, 46% like it
|
|
In A Year We'll Have The Anniversary Of This Moment. I want Cake.
of 78 votes, 64% like it
|
It's A Holiday Somewhere, So Let's Celebrate!
of 80 votes, 69% like it
|
I'm not green with envy, I'm just green.
of 79 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I don't believe in limitations.
of 78 votes, 42% like it
|
Oversleeping is UnderRated.
of 89 votes, 70% like it
|
It's A Peachy Kind Of World And I'm A Tangerine.
of 68 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Surface tension allows pessimists to fill the glass PAST THE RIM!
of 73 votes, 45% like it
|
The Solstice was pretty much the long and short of it.
of 65 votes, 54% like it
|
Hide-N-Seek Champion of 1989
of 78 votes, 64% like it
|
|
If Love Is The Answer...Maybe I Misunderstood The Question.
of 79 votes, 59% like it
|
Proud to share my Sweet-Tooth with an Owl and a Turtle.
of 73 votes, 59% like it
|
Free Candy 101: Costume + Pillowcase = INFINITE SWEETS
of 65 votes, 58% like it
|
|
A Caramel Apple A Day Keeps My Dentist In Business.
of 76 votes, 72% like it
|
I am a SUCKER for SWEETS.
of 69 votes, 49% like it
|
I'm younger than older people.
of 83 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Zen Zombies: Seeking a Piece of Mind.
of 84 votes, 64% like it
|
I have a lot of Etc...
of 73 votes, 58% like it
|
Crouton MUST be French for STALE BREAD!
of 72 votes, 44% like it
|
|
I'm so cool, my six degrees of separation are measured in Kelvin.
of 86 votes, 52% like it
|
Latin is a dead language. Zombie is an undead one.
of 77 votes, 62% like it
|
If I give one to you, then I'll have to give one to everyone else
of 75 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Reserving my right to be completely wrong.
of 80 votes, 59% like it
|
I tell bad jokes well.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
|
Timing can be everything...when you have nothing but time.
of 65 votes, 48% like it
|
|
I'm not above being down.
of 63 votes, 49% like it
|
My game is limited to the VIDEO variety.
of 69 votes, 45% like it
|
Evolution must have left the monkey behind, for some reason.
of 75 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Kindergarten Graduation on a resume seems to be unimpressive.
of 83 votes, 58% like it
|
Pink Magic is the new Black Magic.
of 75 votes, 45% like it
|
My premonitions often involve things that have already happened.
of 78 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Can we go on an adventure?
of 81 votes, 59% like it
|
Ping-Pong Champion...Of My Basement.
of 72 votes, 56% like it
|
(Left Shoulder) Cold (Right Shoulder) To Cry On
of 93 votes, 77% like it
|
|
Scorpions: Not as friendly as they are cute!
of 72 votes, 49% like it
|
My call of the wild can be a little ANIMATED.
of 69 votes, 43% like it
|
Pretend we're in a romantic comedy. I'm befuddled...YOU KISS ME!
of 73 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Yes, I won the Gold. But it seems to be 2nd to Platinum now...
of 68 votes, 56% like it
|
Driving While Sleepy During Rain Causes Wet-Dreams.
of 77 votes, 42% like it
|
Down with Acrophobia!
of 68 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Walking the thin line between Never and Forever...called Now.
of 72 votes, 39% like it
|
This is my Cold Shoulder. (near the top right or left of shirt)
of 79 votes, 48% like it
|
Burn CDs, not BOOKS!
of 81 votes, 67% like it
|
|
It's not impossible that the customer is in error occasionally.
of 88 votes, 66% like it
|
MORE CHAOS...But please organize when you're done.
of 65 votes, 48% like it
|
I'm impressed by your impressions.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Sometimes I try too hard.
of 72 votes, 46% like it
|
Keep it up and your babies will come out NAKED!
of 78 votes, 49% like it
|
The day has been canceled due to lack of interest.
of 105 votes, 72% like it
|
|
I just presume that I'll get more tickets to paradise than two.
of 83 votes, 54% like it
|
I seem to have misplaced my motivation.
of 92 votes, 70% like it
|
Try to live every day as if it's a cartoon.
of 96 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Why is there so much hostility towards punching bags?
of 96 votes, 64% like it
|
When pleading ignorance, one is actually admiting dumbness.
of 77 votes, 60% like it
|
Vacuums don't seem to clean anything in space.
of 93 votes, 72% like it
|
|
(on back)
Just trying to stay ahead of the weather.
of 74 votes, 51% like it
|
Real Ghost Writers use invisible ink.
of 83 votes, 65% like it
|
Don't ask a Zombie for a hand if he's chewing on one.
of 89 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Taking pictures from the side is how I gain perspective.
of 81 votes, 60% like it
|
On the other hand, there could be a glove.
of 92 votes, 68% like it
|
Since I don't know what you're thinking, the answer is subjective
of 77 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Some triangles are so acute!
of 82 votes, 54% like it
|
Why is it that I always seem to ask rhetorical questions?
of 87 votes, 67% like it
|
If you ask a zombie for a hand, you better specify HELP is needed
of 85 votes, 54% like it
|
|
(on back) I'm 10 steps ahead of you (actual distance may vary)
of 81 votes, 75% like it
|
I'm not above getting down.
of 81 votes, 58% like it
|
You're just pretending to see my imaginary friend, aren't you?
of 88 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Let's pretend it's a race!
of 67 votes, 55% like it
|
How did people learn problem solving skills before video games?
of 82 votes, 68% like it
|
It's THIS easy being green. (on green shirt)
of 88 votes, 69% like it
|
|
Fiction...A NOVEL idea.
of 78 votes, 69% like it
|
Instead of breaking the ice, be like a Zamboni and SMOOTH it out!
of 68 votes, 59% like it
|
According to recent polls; 9 out of 10 people make up 90% of them
of 82 votes, 46% like it
|
|
My unicycle is greener than your bike.
of 80 votes, 56% like it
|
If diamonds are forever, maybe they are the secret to time travel
of 78 votes, 64% like it
|
Find a penny, pick it up & all day long you'll have a penny.
of 88 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Magazines are VOLUMES better than books!
of 75 votes, 48% like it
|
Unicycles failed to help me achieve perfect balance.
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
I am "the man" that is holding me down.
of 77 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Unicycles help me achieve perfect balance.
of 79 votes, 46% like it
|
On the 3.141592654th day, God created Math.
of 108 votes, 70% like it
|
Yesterdays future is a thing of the past.
of 80 votes, 61% like it
|
|
In case it comes up, I vomit uncontrollably!
of 67 votes, 49% like it
|
If this WAS Rocket Science, I'd admit to being under qualified.
of 86 votes, 67% like it
|
If I were you I wouldn't be me.
of 79 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I love Pi infinitely!
of 69 votes, 49% like it
|
I have elements on my Coffee Table...Periodically
of 81 votes, 57% like it
|
Watch me defy gravity...
of 74 votes, 53% like it
|
|
It doesn't take a Rocket Surgeon to skin a few cats!
of 78 votes, 42% like it
|
I'm afraid I have Hypochondraphobia.
of 90 votes, 60% like it
|
I don't mean to brag, but I make a pretty mean Humble Pie!
of 95 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I've never felt remorse...and I kind of feel bad about it.
of 100 votes, 73% like it
|
You call me pumpkin one more time and I will SQUASH you!
of 79 votes, 47% like it
|
On the 8th day God created Pong, and there was much rejoicing.
of 89 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I love the thought of being thought of.
of 85 votes, 52% like it
|
In the finger election, all thumbs are opposed.
of 89 votes, 48% like it
|
In the finger election, all opposed say thumb.
of 82 votes, 49% like it
|
|
I'll rue the day...when I learn what the word RUE means!
of 88 votes, 60% like it
|
If life's a stage & love is blind, then I want a re-write!
of 88 votes, 56% like it
|
Will work for cardboard & markers.
of 104 votes, 72% like it
|
|
(UV)Plays well with others.
(GLOW)Doesn't play well with others.
of 85 votes, 47% like it
|
Orwell was wrong about 1984.
of 94 votes, 59% like it
|
Platypus: The first hybrid.
of 108 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Life is my Amusement Park!
of 83 votes, 51% like it
|
Commas are so common,
of 85 votes, 49% like it
|
Money talks...when you know ventriloquism.
of 101 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Money talks...if you know ventriloquism.
of 91 votes, 48% like it
|
That really sucks...but not as much as a Black Hole!
of 94 votes, 53% like it
|
Heart: Life's Metronome.
of 94 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Let your heart be life's metronome.
of 85 votes, 48% like it
|
Somebody Else.
of 81 votes, 46% like it
|
Geppetto really pulls my strings!
of 94 votes, 52% like it
|
|
(on back) I am ahead of you in the Human Race.
of 121 votes, 79% like it
|
Walking is more fun on an autopedescalator.
of 78 votes, 47% like it
|
I borrowed my originality.
of 97 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Guitars don't fret.
of 101 votes, 67% like it
|
I am Senator Reed Thatcher
of 98 votes, 36% like it
|
Professional Cheater
(I ALWAYS WIN)
of 102 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I got a gold metal in Alchemy.
of 129 votes, 71% like it
|
I got a gold medal in Alchemy.
of 106 votes, 54% like it
|
Narwhal: Proof of Unicorns & Darwinian Evolution Theory.
of 105 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Despite popular belief, cheaters win occasionally.
of 102 votes, 59% like it
|
(on back)
This is where my jet-pack goes.
of 123 votes, 68% like it
|
I wonder how vegans feel about carnivorous plants.
of 125 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Some things are easier DONE than SAID!
of 94 votes, 54% like it
|
Cannibals eat this stuff up
of 98 votes, 57% like it
|
AMNESIA! The thought never crossed my mind.
of 175 votes, 73% like it
|
|
Capitalism just makes $ense
of 95 votes, 46% like it
|
Capitalism just makes cents
of 92 votes, 49% like it
|
Honorably Mentioned
of 86 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Professional Marathon Watcher
of 80 votes, 51% like it
|
Only human...for NOW!
of 82 votes, 51% like it
|
My ennui was cured on Wii.
of 78 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Cursed ALUMINUM! I've been foiled again!
of 107 votes, 75% like it
|
An apple a day. What do doctors have against citrus?
of 86 votes, 47% like it
|
Keepin' it Surreal
of 102 votes, 73% like it
|
|
Prevent animal cruelty...Stop poaching eggs.
of 91 votes, 51% like it
|
Superman < Kryptonite
of 96 votes, 47% like it
|
I'd rather be roasting marshmallows.
of 86 votes, 50% like it
|
|
You read potato, I read potato. This might work better out loud.
of 102 votes, 68% like it
|
You say potato...I say it differently.
of 92 votes, 47% like it
|
Reading...now there's a Novel idea.
of 92 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Walking saves the world...one step at a time.
of 97 votes, 47% like it
|
There's probably a rule against it in Leviticus.
of 93 votes, 51% like it
|
I like my rainy days dehydrated
of 84 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Obligatory Zombie T-Shirt
of 86 votes, 49% like it
|
Holy Ampersand Batman!
of 92 votes, 53% like it
|
If my Flux Capacitor was working, I wouldn't have gotten a ticket
of 96 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Don't just do something...stand there
of 92 votes, 61% like it
|
My "inner monologue" is "sarcastic".
of 90 votes, 54% like it
|
My inner monologue is smirking.
of 83 votes, 57% like it
|
|
I tend to try.
of 79 votes, 47% like it
|
If only I had Basic Skills
of 85 votes, 48% like it
|
Be careful what you wish for, 'cause you might get this shirt...
of 81 votes, 44% like it
|
|
You smell like rainbows...dirty, dirty rainbows!
of 79 votes, 51% like it
|
No proof that Unicorns are real, but check out my real Nagahide!
of 81 votes, 46% like it
|
I throw around exclamation points like they are snowballs!!!!!!!!
of 94 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Everything I need to know, I learned from Marty McFly
of 88 votes, 56% like it
|
Marty McFly changed my life
of 86 votes, 45% like it
|
Psychics & Meteorologists agree...vagueness is where it's at!
of 96 votes, 55% like it
|
|
A rotating lithodial fragment acquires no lichen
of 94 votes, 52% like it
|
I thought it was custom to hide stuff but Customs didn't think so
of 100 votes, 55% like it
|
This shirt helped me accomplish the goal of getting dressed today
of 93 votes, 52% like it
|
|
This IS my good shirt!
of 93 votes, 47% like it
|
I am invisible when you aren't looking.
of 98 votes, 56% like it
|
I bet you've got a lot of nice ties
of 78 votes, 49% like it
|
|
What the ASTRIX, POUND-SIGN, EXCLAMATION POINT, SEMI-COLON
of 91 votes, 52% like it
|
The future is coming, whether you like it or not.
of 89 votes, 58% like it
|
Textually active & Virus free
of 98 votes, 52% like it
|
|
That's not going to come off in the shower...
of 96 votes, 41% like it
|
It's not the shirt that makes me look fat.
of 99 votes, 40% like it
|
Of course it's true...I read it on Wikipedia!
of 92 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I pee in public (restrooms)
of 106 votes, 49% like it
|
Everyone pees in the pool
of 103 votes, 45% like it
|
This could have no meaning at all. Keep reading to see if it...
of 98 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Persistence Is Useful
of 95 votes, 42% like it
|
Exo-Skeleton
of 92 votes, 41% like it
|
I'd give my left testicle to win the Tour De France
of 101 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Following in my shadows footsteps.
of 97 votes, 39% like it
|
I climb things
of 94 votes, 43% like it
|
Esta camisa es en español
of 98 votes, 44% like it
|
|
I've seen Big Foot
of 94 votes, 43% like it
|
If you are reading this, than I have served my purpose. (DECOY)
of 101 votes, 51% like it
|
Do you have a better shirt I could borrow?
of 95 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Some day this shirt probably won't fit me.
of 99 votes, 51% like it
|
I like to read...and it seems you do too.
of 102 votes, 60% like it
|
Does this slogan make my shirt look tacky?
of 102 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Non-Fiction is happening now
of 100 votes, 59% like it
|
I may or may not be invisible under this shirt.
of 101 votes, 47% like it
|
